My mind was full and empty at the same time.
I had so many possibilities, yet I was stuck. My feet rooted in the ground, my world shrinking because I just couldn’t evaluate all the options well enough to make decisions.
Work, pleasure, exercise, fresh air, socialising, you name it. The options seemed endless yet I was like a rabbit in the headlights.
What is it they say? Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. That was me.
I was working to change things in my life, but not actually changing anything. My approach was the same.
- Go for a 5.30am run
- Yoga every morning before breakfast
- Take my laptop to a co-working space or cafe
- Have a random day in the hills
They were all things I wanted to do yet every time it came to taking action, I was stuck, unmoving, procrastinating.
Was there a better alternative?
Was there something else I could do instead?
I knew it was happening and I knew what I had to do to resolve it. Yet still I remained rooted to the same spot.
It took a conversation with Mr ODG, an admission of how I was feeling and then a nudge in the right direction. His adamant nudge that despite yesterday being wholly unproductive, I needed a random day off. A day to go somewhere which fed my soul.
And yet the possibilities that suddenly opened up threatened to freeze me in the same spot.
- Coast or mountains?
- Drive or train?
- Day or overnight?
- Walk, bike or relax?
- City shopping or country cafe?
- Near or far?
Each decision had a knock on effect to others.
Researching the options delayed me setting off. It was getting to the point where it was not worth bothering because the day was marching on.
But eventually, I chose.
I realised it had to be somewhere I’d never been before and I had my maximum driving time so that I could get there in time for lunch.
I’m a mountain girl through and through. That’s what usually feeds my soul but, today, I chose the coast for something totally different.
I loaded the van and set off for Staithes on the Yorkshire coast.
Arriving bang on lunchtime, I wandered down the cobbled street and found a little cafe on the sea front. Relaxing with a prawn sandwich (what else!) and a cuppa, I started to empty my head.
But still, I felt closed off. Not myself.
I wandered along the beach to the harbour wall, looked back to the village and, finally, my head started to clear.
I opened up. I chatted with strangers. And the words started flowing again.
It’s not often that I admit it out loud, but Mr ODG was 100% right. Yep, I’ll say it again as I know he’ll be reading this! You were right love!!!
I needed to forget about work. I needed to change my location. I needed to be somewhere random. I needed to challenge myself and step out of my comfort zone by heading somewhere unknown.
It was an effort to get here. I had to push myself hard to pull my feet out of the quicksand which was sucking me down.
But it was worth the effort.
I decided to extend the day trip with a night on a coastal campsite.
It had been the metaphorical reset button for my mind.
We all need them from time to time, just don’t leave it as long as I did 😉